You might be a member of the church of Christ

Selected items from an article by Bobby Ross, Jr. in The Christian Chronicle that resonated with me:

you might be a member of the church of Christ …

• If you know exactly what song I'm talking about when I ask you to turn to number 728b.
• If you could recite all the books of the Bible before you could even read them.
• If you know the first and third verse of nearly every song.
• If you actually know what a "ready recollection" is and have been thoroughly "guide-guard-and-directed" all your life. (If you're really a member, you know that "guide-guard-and-directed" must be followed by "and-bring-us-back-at-the-next-appointed-time.")
• If you think "progressive" refers to those in the church who want a sound system and PowerPoint.
• If you think the Bible questions on Jeopardy are way too easy.
• If you immediately reach for your wallet when you hear the phrase, "Now, separate and apart from the Lord's Supper … "
• If you know all the words to all the verses of Trust and Obey.
• If, when you're happy and you know it, you clap your hands, stomp your feet and say "Amen!"